Hey ladies and gents, and any variations thereof!
It's been a long, long time since I've posted, but I hope to make amends for that. As I'm sure most of you know, earlier this month was Coming Out Day, which applies to all of us in the wide LBGT spectrum. For many, this year was more significant because of marriage legalization.
Several months ago, I sent a letter to my parents. I spilled my soul onto paper for over a week; writing and rewriting until I could no longer move my fingers. I would have to stop from time to time because tears would soak the notebook I was writing in to the point of smudging the pen ink. When I finally sent the letter, I waited for days to get a response. Days turned into weeks and then into months before I heard anything about it from either of them. I still spoke to them on the phone a few times a month, but not once did they acknowledge my letter.
The thing nobody ever mentions about "coming out" is that it is never a singular event. Telling my parents the truth about my life was by and large the most difficult, terrifying thing I have ever done in my life. The first time I was open about my innermost desires was nearly 5 years ago. I made the decision to dress up for Halloween that year and I put together an impromptu school girl outfit- Britney Spears-esque you could say. My room mate and I met with some other friends and went to a big bar party. One friend in particular was positively ecstatic and she helped me with makeup and offered to let me borrow her shoes, which were sadly too small. She gave me the moniker Marcy that night, and it has stuck with me ever since. About a month later, I told her that I really enjoyed dressing up on Halloween and that I kinda wanted to do it more often. She took me shopping and helped me do my hair and that was my first experience coming out.
I came out to my best friends shortly afterward, and they were both really awesome and understanding. One of them was said room mate and he had stumbled upon my footlocker full of dresses and stuff months before so he already knew. The other, who is also my brother-in-law, gave me gel pads for my high heels for Christmas. I came out to my female coworkers one morning when they were speculating on if boobs increased tips. I came out to several former classmates, teachers, my siblings, and then finally, my parents.
Be prepared for questions, I got many of them. Some are innocuous and some are entirely inappropriate. Don't be shocked and don't be offended by what they ask you. I have been asked if I was gay so many times that I questioned it myself for a while. I have been asked about surgery and hormones and everything else even remotely related. The reason I say that you shouldn't be offended is that most of it comes from ignorance and genuine curiosity. There will also be the outright rude and cruel people, but I have been extremely lucky in that regard and have not met many.
When marriage legalization came about, my Facebook feed was inundated with bold proclamations from both sides of the fence. Some of the people in my family posted and shared hateful videos and memes in opposition of the Supreme Court's decision. I felt hurt by some of the things, not just for myself, but for my lesbian aunts who have been together longer than my mom has been alive, and my uncle, who died when I was a toddler. I wrote a long post on Facebook about how I myself belonged to the LGBT community and why attacks on people you think are strangers often impact people you care about too.
Someone logged into my profile some time later and deleted the entire post. I'll discuss that more in anther post.
Being transgender has been a mostly uphill journey, but I regret none of it. I met my true bestest friend and love of my life because I was open about myself. Through her, I got the big family and children I always wanted. I have forged many great friendships, both local and abroad. Most importantly, I finally am beginning to feel like myself- a feat I didn't know was possible. Every struggle makes the good and happy moments sweeter.
I am blessed to be me because of the people I have chosen to love.
